Sunday, April 22, 2012

Who are these kids who can ride bikes & where are my babies??



To be fair, they weren't actually riding bikes, they were riding big wheels & not peddling, just scooting around the driveway, but still, aren't they a little young for that?  It amazes me everyday the things my kids can do.  They can tell me what they want to eat (cheese if you ask Lori - doesn't matter the meal), they can tell me what they did today (they're not always correct, but still, they understand that a question is being asked).  It just amazes me.  Lori can almost always tell me who's turn it is to go to the library for story time.  She knows who went last & who will go next.  It's not necessarily that she knows more then her sisters, it's just that she's more vocal.  So really, where are my babies?  the ones who crawled around on the floor inside a gate.  there was a time I could leave Lily on her jungle playmat for half an hour just staring at a little zebra -just thought of that now & realized she is still the only one of my 3 who can amuse herself alone for more then 5 minutes.  funny that those characteristics can appear so young).  The ones who drank from bottles & were held & cuddled every night.   Don't get me wrong, their still cuddled every night, but it's not the same.  Bed time is stories, songs, & hugs & kisses & they are tucked it.  Not feeding, & rocking, & burping, nuzzling their sweet heads the whole time.  

Ok, Might have to scratch that last line. In my optimistic revelry, i lied. 

Most nights bedtimes were hectic to say the least.  Bottles were propped with milk maid bottle props as often as they were held.  3 infants needing to be fed at exactly the same time is exactly as it sounds - loud!  Still, i miss it.  I miss these first smiles (gas or not).  Sometimes i even miss middle of the night feedings.  When i, bleary eyed, could sit quietly with my children (after they were fed).  When i could just look at them & breath in their baby scent.  Many nights i sat on the couch longer then i needed to, just holding my babies & watching them sleep (& watching the home shopping network - did we not have dvr then?  Somewhere i still have a steamer i never even opened.  it's amazing what you think you need in they middle of the night. 

But back to the babies who are no longer babies.

I love my children everyday, for who they are, & who they are becoming.  I delight in every stage of their lives - even if sometimes it takes me a little longer to adjust.  But once in while, like tonight, i think back & miss the tiny babies who depended on me so entirely & completely. 

Now i will go check on my toddlers.  Make sure they are sleeping comfortable in their little toddler beds, that they are covered, & have their favorite toys near by.  Teddy bears for Lori, Baby dolls for Jackie, & the count (think sesame street) for lily.  I may not be needed for absolutely everything anymore, but there are something still only mommy can do.

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